Addiction..........

Remember Janice from Friends?.... well........
OH.......... MY.............. GOD!!!!!

Has it really been November 2007 since my last blog entry? Yes it has!

Is there such thing as Ravelry-aholics Anonymous? Please?

I need it........

Hi... my name is Jellyknits and I am a Ravelry-aholic!!!

Hope Tree

Well the pace of my life has certainly stepped up several gears in the last couple of weeks.

The Childrens Hope Tree Project has launched!!!! I have gathered a panel of great parents who have volunteered to help with this massive undertaking. So far we have successfully completed two days of textile craft work in the school. We have at least another 7 school days scheduled.

Each child represents a stitch in the fabric of society. As each stitch plays an important part in the creation of a fabric or tapestry, so too does each child play a vital role in creating a beautiful community.

The underlying theme of the project is stitch, weave, textile. Every child participates by creating a christmas decoration using an element of textile. For example, Funky Yarn Folk, Pompoms, String Balls, etc. Each christmas decoration is woven together in the form of a garland, reflecting the unity of each class. Each garland embraces the christmas tree, reflecting the gathering of a community.

Historically the evergreen tree was celebrated because it represented the 'hope' of the return of Spring.

This project represents community embracing hope!!!!

I am so excited!!!!

Getting Kicked when your Down.

My beautiful 8 yr old daughter was assaulted by 4 boys her own age whilst on a play date at her friend's house last week. It appears her friend's brother has been bullying my daughter for some time now..... insidious and subtle, and I was not aware. And it culminated in an assault upon her.

'Let's get her' were the words spoken... she was taken down, jumped on, kicked, hit with a sweeping brush.... and a rock was raised... thank God something stopped that rock from being thrown.

She returned to me damaged.... the physical injuries were slight, nothing beyond bruising..... but the emotional hurt was and still is visible in her eyes... and it pains me greatly that I was not there to save her.

Four boys and not one of them thought 'no... this is wrong... stop!'

I have not the words to express my pain, confusion, fear, anger...

Dangling on a Thread

Whoever came up with the line .... 'it never rains, but it pours!' Man is that my life recently!

I've already mentioned the fact that my mom is diagnosed clinically depressed.... if truth be told... has been all her life, but chronically so for the last 7/8 yrs. She is spiralling downward once again into a deep black hole, and I am finding it so hard to reach in and try grab her hand to pull her out.

However, she is only the rain.

The last 10 days has seen the arrival of another crisis on my doormat, a culmination of 13 months of shear dysfunction between my three brothers. Each one has come to me with a major personal crisis / life upheaval experience which has made me realise I know absolutely nothing about them other than surface detail. Once upon a time, I saw my brothers as a tight brotherly unit... a rock ... with me on the outside being the only sister and the eldest. Years of silence, secrets, non-communication.... rooted in my mother, has insidiously pervaded through my family bringing fissures in that rock... which have expanded into gaping cracks. And in 13 months, a nerve has been exposed!

The matters they have revealed to me have left my heart shattered.... and suffice to say I cannot at this point divulge anything more. They are three broken men. Terrifyingly, I now find myself in the position where it is only me who can now try to pick up the shards and help fix things for them, as they do not, nor cannot, summon the strength to do so for themselves. But I really have no notion of where to start!

Last week... en route to the supermarket, I found myself driving on the verge of complete breakdown... this volcano of grief was just boiling away and surging to explode out of me. I really fought hard to contain it. My head and heart was screaming... 'what do I do? what do I do?'

On another night, I found myself in bed unable to sleep... my chest was heaving with this ugly pain trying to free itself. I found myself holding my chest tightly trying to smother the pain so as not to wake my husband.

Realising that this is unhealthy and that I really, really need to keep it together, I successfully made that tentative phone call to my mother's therapist.... I figure it may as well start there. I have a week and a half before I travel West to 'talk' to him. I feel blind. Please god.... he will give me some direction and tell me how I can fix my family...

And yet, despite all this.... I have gone and thrown myself into all sorts of projects.... Parent's Association committee, School Christmas Art Project, local ICA volunteer work, knitting circle........ is this an unconscious reaction to distract myself from my grief or am I running to stand still?

I would just love the peace of a soft Irish mist on my face. If only.

Ravelry..... and My Ache-y, Break-y Arms !!

Hey.... my Ravelry invite came thru!!! Yippee! I felt really chuffed when the invite arrived in my mailbox. Its a great feeling to BELONG!

I worked out fairly intensely this week.

On Monday, Clare got tough with her Lower Body workout. Weight bearing moves followed by plyometric moves and back again. I thought my legs would collapse.

Tuesday, I stepped it out with Daniela... the coordination is returning.

Wednesday, Greg took us for our Upper Body workout, and my poor arms, chest & shoulders are still aching. My arms quiver & shake when I attempt to straighten them. It was a weight bearing, plyometric & boxing combo! Bobby took us Spinning directly afterwards which was an uphill climb on the heaviest gear.

Thursday came as a breath of fresh air despite the fact that I used the day to catch up on the housework..... a workout in itself.

And after all my good work.... what did I do? We had guests home from New Zealand staying with us for the night.... so we headed out for a Chinese meal.... apparently Chinese restaurants are very few and far between in Christchurch. That wasn't too bad I suppose as I did not bother with dessert. However, when we got home and got the young 'uns to bed.... us adults indulged with Champagne, Red wine and some even went as far as Cognac..... not good!! In fact... the un-Ravelry of me! I felt hideous today.... bad hair, delicate tummy, saggy eyed, and exhausted. Never again!

Beating the blahs.............

I am three weeks back into my training and I am still feeling blah!!!! Must be my age creeping up on me! Its just that I have not hit that exercise high yet! I really thought by now that I would be back into tip top sparkly form and bouncing with energy. I will give it another week........

On the other hand, my mind is exploding with lots of knitting ideas!!!
Plans are afoot for a commuKNITTY knitting project just in time for Christmas. I should have more to report on this next week.
And after flashing my stash..... I have renewed inspiration for my stash. My yarn spoke to me..... REALLY!

And.... before it completely slipped my mind... today I started my Noro Felted Mitred Square Bag for the Dublin Knit Collective's Autumn Show 'n Tell. I just hope I have it finished on time. I will get a few photos uploaded later on.

I was in my local book shop yesterday checking out the craft section.... and found Debbie Bliss' new book 'Essential Baby'..... I bought it as my brother has a beautiful new baby boy!!!! Did I mention I'm an auntie for the first time, and.... I'm his Godmother!!!! Did I mention it??

Flashing...... the Stash!

Wow.... this was fun.... I'm not a photographer but it was fun to try to portray the beauty and character of my stash in photographs! I think I did OK!

Sshhhh!


















Hmmm.... whats in here....